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New Community Guidelines

Years ago, I worked a retail job in a shop that sold rather expensive things to people with a lot of money. I don’t know if it was because our customers were rich, or something about the store itself, but we had a lot of rude, crazy, and abusive customers. Of course, most customers were polite and normal people, but there was a high proportion of people who clearly felt they had the right to abuse those who provide services to them. In fact, one of my favorite co-workers coined a term for them. We called them “rudies.”

One thing that sucks about rudies is that it only takes one to ruin your day. You can interact with a hundred nice people, but just one rude, sexist, or passive-aggressive person will make you forget all the nice ones.

Anyway, I always told myself that if I were running a shop, I’d never let customers be rude to my employees. It’s not worth it. I’d kick them out. And well, here I am running a shop (albeit online).

I feel lucky that I get very very few negative comments. In fact, we get so much positive feedback every day, and I deeply appreciate every bit of it. And we also get constructive criticism sometimes, which I also love and appreciate! It helps us improve, which is cool, and it’s usually really polite.

But then very rarely, we get comments that are hurtful and not at all productive. They are usually anonymous. They are sometimes sexist. And sometimes, they are just rude. This doesn’t happen very often, but it sucks. I want this blog to be a welcoming place, and I think it’s my job to make everyone feel included. That means politely asking the rudies to leave.

So here are our brand new community guidelines. It’s short and sweet, but the gist of it is that you must be polite and respectful, don’t criticize anyone’s body or looks, and don’t spam for your business. I hope it’s clear and helpful. We’ll be adding a link to the policy from the comment form very soon, to remind anyone posting about the etiquette here. Thanks everyone!

{image above: Mind Your Manners by Claire Wallace}

Sarai Mitnick

Founder

Sarai started Colette back in 2009. She believes the primary role of a business should be to help people. She loves good books, sewing with wool, her charming cats, working in her garden, and eating salsa.

Comments

Ms.Cleaver (Leah)

May 11, 2011 #

Question on Policy Rule #4 – will comments now require the use of the real first name in the name field?

I generally post under my nom de internet/nickname (under which I also occasionally do some business/ publish under), but I want to make sure I’m not breaking the rules!

Sarai

May 11, 2011 #

Good point, nicknames are fine! I’ve amended the policy.

I just don’t want 100% purely anonymous comments, since the lack of accountability brings out the worst in some people. And I don’t want someone posting under the name “sewingsuppliesforyou.com” or something like that.

K2

May 11, 2011 #

I love that the book is etiquette for Canadians… LOL. For some reason that just cracks me up.

I’m also curious about Rule #4, K2 is obviously not my real/legal name.

Sarai

May 11, 2011 #

Haha, I did not notice the Canadian aspect. That’s awesome.

See my reply above as well. Nicknames are fine!

Amanda

May 11, 2011 #

I did notice spam comments starting to creep up, here and on other sewing forums. I was wondering if I should “report” them as I see them, but then I wasn’t sure if that was overkill on my part :)

Sarai

May 11, 2011 #

Yes, we had a big influx of them recently and have adjusted our spam filters!

It’s good to report them if you see them in the forum (and there should be a report link on each post). We rely on those to find and delete them!

For the blog, we read all the comments, so we delete spam as it comes up. So if you see one on here, chances are it will be deleted soon.

a.b.

May 11, 2011 #

I can’t stand it when people post anonymously, because it automatically makes me worry they’re going to say something horrible. I’m sorry y’all had to deal with that kind of stuff, and in such a nice place!

Magpie Mimi

May 11, 2011 #

I think this is such a good idea! Thankfully I haven’t had any awful comments on my blog but I filter everything so I think it probably puts most off. It makes my skin crawl when I see something nasty written and especially when it’s anonymous. I saw one on a blog the other day and was tempted to reply but I and all the subsequent commenters ignored it and I think that was the best policy in this instance.

Hope it works!

Rachel

May 11, 2011 #

Part of the reason I always moderate comments :)
That being said, I appreciate and totally understand your rules- they sound good to me :)

Sarai

May 11, 2011 #

I think because we’ve had so few nasty comments over the years, I haven’t felt the need to moderate. If they were more frequent, I might consider it. People here are generally extremely nice and thoughtful.

Susan

May 11, 2011 #

I had to start moderating comments on my blog posts, because of this. I don’t know why a person thinks it is okay to do this, but they certainly do it anyway.

Jessica

May 11, 2011 #

I have said the same thing to myself hundreds of times (kicking people out who are unreasonable to my employees) I work at an office that caters to these people, who I refer to as dementors. So, I applaud you and your efforts! I love your patterns and I try to spread the word to an seamstress I come across. Keep up the wonderful work ladies!

Mary

May 11, 2011 #

Well, this sucks for you and all who participate in your business. So sorry this has happened. After teaching junior high for 30 years, I am well aware of how one negative comment can color your day! :-p

Anita M Cartolano

May 12, 2011 #

Agreed! This is supposed to be fun and informative – not a bashing! Thank you for sharing all of your knowledge so beautifully!

Freya

May 12, 2011 #

It’s really sad and dispiriting when people write offensive things. There is no need for it. For what it’s worth I really admire what CP is trying to do, It’s so much more than just a pattern company! I really enjoy the tutorials and quick looks, and the community forum is a great place for inspiration and seeing what others have done!

I also love your patterns!

Mandy

May 12, 2011 #

It is such a shame that you have to go to the trouble of creating a participation policy, congratulations for producing such a fair and balanced one.
Thanks for your very informative Blog. I am always learning something new.

Marie Roche

May 12, 2011 #

I am sorry that you have to ask people to comment politely. I seems that society has lost it’s social graces. I agree this site should be fun and for those of us who want to improve our skills, a place of learning. Rudeness is unproductive and can be destructive, this site is not the place for either.

Marie

Corinne

May 12, 2011 #

I totally respect your Policy position. I know other bloggers occasionally deal with the rudeness and more on their sites. Is there a way to block the “anonymous” person? Mostly IMO sewists are kind, creative and respectful. Your site is so beautifully done with information, fashion, models etc. that I can’t imagine any real sewer being cruel. I was the moderator for a sewing group on Yahoo for many years, it was an active group. I had to make it private because of rudeness and spammers however. Because of this we closed the group. Anyway, good luck in future, love your patterns and respect your position.

Jane W.

May 12, 2011 #

This is my first comment, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you even have to verbalize the need for basic courtesy! I love this blog, and would hate to see it go away.

Jean

May 12, 2011 #

Your blog and shop are among my favorites. I am also happy to see you have established a “participation policy”. As a teacher, I’m always happy to see a few classroom rules!

Shalyn

May 13, 2011 #

Awesome! As someone who has worked in retail and customer service jobs for years, I really appreciate all that you said. I’m glad you are willing to stand up for yourself and others. I believe every bit of that will make a difference.

Jenn

May 23, 2011 #

A fair and easy to follow policy. I have seen some posts on other sewing boards lately that I would have considered rude as well. Sorry to hear it has crept over here. Opinions and constructive criticism are one thing, but honestly, how much willpower does it take to have some common courtesy? Why do people turn off their “internal editor” when on the internet?

emily

August 20, 2013 #

At my new school our motto is…
Take care of yourself
Take care of each other
Take care of this place
I think it’s the best mindset no matter where one is…
Thanks for being so thoughtful and protective of your community.